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back Apr. 30th, 2014 @ 08:01 pm
it's been a very long time since I've been here. I just kept bouncing from one blog spot to another. I thought I start writing here again... random thoughts. Been kind of a loner lately. Just need space before the weekend where I'll be surrounded by people because of parties. I've come into a large amount of money which will support me for a while now and I've been trying to get drugs with it but I lost all my contacts. It's for the best... but... I just want to be back on it. Want that sweet feeling. Not happening. Just enjoying this time alone where books and Doctor Who is keeping me company.

new blog Jan. 21st, 2006 @ 08:30 pm
can someone tell a blog host site that people like besides livejournal...

i'm looking for a new place to dwell...

mike

oh... i still want to be here

a bit of a dip Jan. 19th, 2006 @ 09:47 pm
well...

i feel confused...

i just got tested for hiv/std... cause you know... Jamie...

i guess I'll worry about the results...

besides that life is really good...

i've been taking so much action lately and it feels good/natural...

ummm right now i'm trying to download My So Called Life onto my computer...

it's taking way too long...

my house is drinking again... last week there was a big orgy here... i was trying to sleep... i hope i can sleep through another one...

ummm it's been hard to get things started with Carol... not sure if she wants me to come this Sunday... there would be no hard feelings cause i don't know her and... well... i don't know her...

but it always hurts when rejection happens...

my room is a bit trashy... i was going to clean it... hmmm maybe I'll stop typing here so i can finish cleaning...

mike

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song Mike is listening to right now

O My My
by Ani DiFranco

Your body
Forshortened below your shoulders
Your face so close it’s out of focus
Way down the hallway
Comes the sound of your shoes
This is when I think about when I think about you

If we let our love off of it’s leash
Do you fear like I fear how fierce it would be?

Your headlights sweepin’
Across my ceiling
The breath of my smile
The depth of my feeling
Way down in my dark light of shadows
Your life with sharp things that glow
This is what I think about when I think about you

If we let our love off of it’s leash
Do you fear like I fear how fierce it would be?

Oh my my
Oh my my
Oh my my
Oh my my
Oh my my
Oh my my
Oh my my
Oh my my

Current Mood: stressedstressed
Current Music: Evolve by Ani DiFranco

yeah... happy Jan. 18th, 2006 @ 10:58 pm
well...

i am very sleepy now

yeah...

i don't have much...

the girl is cool... i like talking to her...

we have a date sorta... she's going to show be her artwork...

not sure what to expect...

i'm i being too forward with her...

she is a busy woman... but she makes me smile the few times we talk...

life has been good...

haven't been smoking or drinking in a long time...

i'm getting a lot of things accomplished...

fixing my credit report...

fixing my car...

calling my family more...

keeping spirts up by hanging out with my friends and housemates...

reading... writing...

life is good...

and right after this i'm going to sigh up for school...

yeah... lots of good things are going on

shit i forgot about my laundry...

ok back...

i actually forgot i was typing this...

i'm going to go watch Best in Show

mike

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song Mike is listening to right now

Pure Shores
by All Saints

From the movie soundtrack the beach
Written by william orbit and shaznay lewis

I’ve crossed the deserts for miles
Swam water for time
Searching places to find
A piece of something to call mine (I’m comin’, I’m comin’)
A piece of something to call mine (I’m comin’ comin’ closer to you)

Ran along many moors
Walked through many doors
The place where I wanna be
Is the place I can call mine (I’m comin’, I’m comin’)
Is the place I can call mine (I’m comin’ comin’ closer to you)

Chorus
I’m movin’, I’m comin’
Can you hear what I hear?
It’s calling you my dear out of reach
(take me to my beach)
I can hear it calling you
I’m comin’ not drowning, swimming closer to you

Never been here before
I’m intrigued, I’m unsure
I’m searching for more
I’ve got something that’s all mine (got something that’s all mine)
I’ve got something that’s all mine (got something that’s all mine)

Take me somewhere I can breathe
I’ve got so much to see
This is where I want to be
In a place I can call mine (call mine)
In a place I can call mine (call mine)

Chorus
I’m movin’, I’m comin’
Can you hear what I hear?
It’s calling you my dear out of reach
(take me to my beach)
I can hear it calling you
I’m comin’ not drowning, swimming closer to you

Movin, comin’, can you hear what I hear? (hear it out of reach)
I hear it calling you
Swimming closer to you

Many faces I have seen
Many places I have been
Walked the deserts, swam the shores (coming closer to you)
Many faces I have known
Many ways in which I’ve grown
Movin closer on my own (coming closer to you)

I’m movin, I feel it
I’m comin, not drowning
I’m movin, I feel it
I’m comin, not drowning

Chorus to fade

Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: America by Allen Ginsberg

huggy beer Jan. 12th, 2006 @ 01:54 am
oh hey

ummm this is cool

http://www.samorost2.net/

and this too

http://www.humanclock.com

yeah i'm bored... but what are you up to...

how do i find new friends on livejournal?

today was fine... kind of exciting actually...

lets see... i had a busy busy day at work... and i got really stressed out with not being able to keep up... but it was nice afterward because i think i did really well...

oh... i got home and called Caitlin and actually it was really nice... we hung out like we were best friends like we used to be... she kept on telling me that i had a sex problem and i should go to Sex Anonymous... not sure if she was joking or what...

got home and i got a call from Jamie's mother who told me if i knew where Jamie was and if i did to tell her that they worried about her and that her grandma was really sick...

this is the same grandma that Jamie told me was dead...

oh lord...

the drama... is amazing...

so no one knows where she is now...

and now i'm messing around on the computer... and yep! i had a Catless day! thank god... i think she wants to leave me alone now...

i think she has a boyfriend now... wow... she works quickly...

but... off to dream land...

mike!

day 68
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song Mike is listening to right now

Geek USA
by Smashing Pumpkins


Lover lover let's pretend
We're born as innocents
Cast into the world
With apple eyes

To wish wish dangerous
My dear delirious
To try and leave
The rest of us behind

Shot full of diamonds
And a million years
The disappointed disappear
Like they were never here

Kiss kiss all of this
The hiss that we had miss
And understand what can't be understood

Sear those thoughts of me
Alone and unhappy
I never liked me anyway

If by chance
Or circumstance
We should fail
Don't be so sad

Shot full of diamonds
and a million years
The disappointed disappear
Like they were never here

In a dream
We are connected
Siamese twins
At the wrist

And then I knew we'd been forsaken
Expelled from paradise
I can't believe them
When they say that it's alright

Words can't define what I feel inside
Who needs them?
Caught with this virus of my mind
I give in to my disease, of my needs
To my disease, of my needs

She really loves to break
Her dad says its OK
She really loves to break
And give it all away

Her ma says she's afraid
What more can she fake
She really needs to break
And give herself away

She gave it all away
She gave it all away
She gave it all away
We really love the USA

Current Mood: sillysilly
Current Music: Mayonaise by Smashing Pumpkins
Other entries
» ha ha
i am sleepy...

lack of sleep has made me the biggest grump in the world...

today i spent the bulk of the day trying to come up with a letter to my housemates about me not being happy with the amount of noise that's going on at night... it's so fucking loud in this house...

hmmm but now i can't find where i put the copy of the note... and i too tired to rewrite it...

i think i can sleep through any amount of noise tonight...

but the thing is that i don't have to work tomorrow... so if i want i can go to sleep late and sleep in...

an even funnier thing is that people are really quiet tonight...

oh... tomorrow i'm going to start working on my zine... The Touch Journals...

i think i have a nice angle of how i want to present it...

I'll share it with everyone here!

mike

day 61
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what song Mike is listening to right now

On A Foggy Night
by Tom Waits

It was all upon a foggy night, an abandoned road
In a twilight mirror mirage
With no indication of any kind of service station
Or an all-night garage
I was misinformed, I was misdirected
Cause the interchange never intersected
Leaving me marooned beneath a bloodshot moon
All upon a foggy night, a foggy night
All upon a foggy night

It was kind of an abandoned road, in a blurred brocade collage
Is that a road motel, I can’t really tell
You gotta tell me, is that a vacancy lodge
There’s no consolation, what kind of situation
To be aimlessly askew amidst a powder blue
No tell tail light clue

Spun just like the spell you spin
This precarious pandemonium
Roslyn, I’m stranded, all upon a foggy night

Like a sweepstakes ticket for a Broadway arcade
Heads you win, tails I lose
I’m ramblin’, I’m gamblin’
All upon a foggy night
Foggy night
Foggy night
Foggy night

You got the vice grips on my personality
It’s all upon a foggy night
All upon a foggy night
All upon a foggy night
On a foggy night
All upon a foggy
All upon a foggy night


» look at my poo!
ok... a few things...

this morning when i took a dump i seen tons and tons of bugs floating around in my stool... enough to make really paranoid...

now... a few minutes ago i took another one and no bugs were floating... i'm relieved but still a bit worried...

ok... another thing...

my lower back is hurting but there is no one around to massage me... i wish Laura was here...

oh yeah.... one more thing...

as of today i have a girlfriend... a pretty girl... a girl that's not an addict... a girl that's a really good kisser...

fuck... i need to go to the doctor tomorrow to get checks for any VD... i have no clue if Jamie gave me anything... and i don't want to give anything to this new girl... i should have been checked long time ago but i was always afraid to know the answers....

Cat... i love cats... and Cat is the girls name... we had a nice day and now i'm waiting for her to call me back... she a special one...

oh a few things... she is much younger then me and does wear too much perfume for my allergies to take but i really don't give a shit about her age (she is 19 and i'm 34) and i'm going to tell her about the perfume the next time we hook up...

ugh... i really need to get to the doctor... i hope i'm not sick or anything...

mike

day 54
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what Mike is watching right now

Samurai Champloo
Tempestuous Temperaments

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» (No Subject)
ok... i'm a bit depressed....

but do i need to be that way?

day 47
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is it easy to change that emotion and have a new one?

like... instead of depressed i'm happy...

well... it can be as easy as that... and when i think about it... well i am happy...

i listening to Rufus Wainwright and he always makes me smile...

so that's that... i'm happy...

is it always that easy?

maybe when you think of the bad things all the time it's easy to be sad... but when you stop and realize all that you do have... wow. life is so much better that way...

so here is me happy...

i have a wonderful house filled with wonderful people... and they all make me happy....

so... what about you?

what makes you smile...

actually i can direct this post to the only person that reads this...

i love you! you are the most sincere, beautiful person i know online...

i really wish that you were here in Michigan... i need more people around me that i love...

and you would love it here at the co-op... people are so heart warming...

ok...

i need to go...

Merry X-mas or Hanukkah or stuff...

mike



song mike is listening to right now

Get Gone
by Fiona Apple

How many times do I have to say
To get away-get gone
Flip your shit past another lasses
Humble dwelling
You got your game, made your shot, and you got away
With a lot, but I’m not turned-on
So put away that meat you’re selling
Cuz I do know what’s good for me-
And I’ve done what I could for you
But you’re not benefiting, and yet I’m sitting
Singing again, sing, sing again
How can I deal with this, if he won’t get with this
M’i gonna heal from this; he won’t admit to it
Nothing to figure out; I gotta get him out
It’s time the truth was out that he don’t give a
Shit about me
How many times can it escalate
Till it elevates to a place I can’t breathe?
And I must decide, if you must deride
That I’m much obliged to up and go
I’ll idealize, then realize that it’s no
Sacrifice, because the price is paid, and
There’s nothing left to grieve
Fuckin go-
Cuz I’ve done what I could for you, and I do know what’s
Good for me and I’m not benefiting, instead
I’m sitting singing again, singing again, singing again,
Sing, sing, sing again
How can I deal with this, if he won’t get with this
M’i gonna heal from this; he won’t admit to it
Nothing to figure out; I gotta get him out
It’s time the truth was out that he don’t give a
Shit about me


» why Mike?
well... i just made things worst...

day 40
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Caitlin came over... and i really wanted to make everything better...

but i couldn't...

i ended the friendship...

how fucking stupid...

i don't understand why she wont fight for our friendship...

why does she have to be stupid...

why did she just stare at me like i'm some asshole...

i gave her a fucking chance to make me realize that i was overacting...

anything... anything...

my fucking best friend...

let me go...

i hate her so fucking much...

she's just going to let me go...

i just don't understand...

maybe she's happy now...

maybe she never wanted to be my friend...

maybe she can be happy now...

i really want to die...

it hurts so much that she didn't say anything...

well she told me one thing...

that one day she will make amends to me...

hooray for fucking AA

mike



song Mike is listening to right now

I'm Sorry I Love You
by The Magnetic Fields

A single rose in your garden dwells
Like any rose it's not itself
It is my love in your garden grows
but let's pretend it's just a rose
Well I'm sorry that I love you
It's a phase that I'm going through
There is nothing that I can do
and I'm sorry that I love you
Do not listen to my song
Don't remember it, don't sing along
Let's pretned it's a work of art
Let's pretend it's not my heart...
The rose will fade when summer's gone
The song will fade and I'll be gone
because my heart is dying too
and it's all the same to you


» exist?
does anyone actually read this?
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